I’m just going to disclaim, this post is full of whine. But I’m ok with that because I see you, other moms. I see that look of surrender on your faces, waving your glasses of chardonnay at the end of the day, signaling to all that your day of summer “fun” was more exhausting than any school day. I can see the look of summer crazy in your kids’ eyes. It’s there. It’s gotten to most all of us.
Join me in solidarity on how summer can really suck sometimes…
When I became a mom 7 years ago, I was certain, convicted even, that summer would be ever more fun because, well, sleeping in, less structure, more late nights, more quality time with my kid. I mean, who doesn’t love lemonade, and pools, and beaches, and vacations, and the 4th of July? And all of that with a kid? Sign me up.
And yep, summer is allllll of those things alright. There’s this huge adrenaline rush when that school year is coming to an end and summer begins. It truly is so much fun. For a minute. Because like most things within motherhood, the fantasy is far better than the reality. The reality of summer is, well, sleeping in doesn’t happen in my house, less structure turns my child into a horrible human being, more late nights just means I’m even more tired at work the next day, and more quality time means more arguments because of all of the above.
We are right in the middle of summer: 6 weeks in, 6 weeks to go.
Holy fuck. 6 weeks to go. Still? Hasn’t it been, like, 6 months already?
I took my daughter to the mall yesterday to get new tennis shoes, (since she conveniently ruined hers with some tie-dye shit they did at summer camp. Not to mention that her skin is so stained with purple dye that it looks like protective services might be calling me any minute). I thought to myself as we arrived at the mall, “Hmmm. Maybe I should do some back-to-school shopping for her while I’m here”, only to look at the calendar to realize…it’s still so very far away. I actually felt a sense of sadness that I couldn’t throw my money at some khaki shorts and polo shirts yet.
Yes, the honeymoon phase of summer is over for me. I’m looking for the end already and I swear I was just really happy about it being summer. But let’s be real. It’s fucking hot. My kid is bored. The community pool feels like a hot tub full of piss and sunscreen. Our vacation came and went. Summer reading is about an interesting for her as watching paint dry, therefore makes more work for me. All of the super fun things cost too much money. Nickelodeon and Apple are in business because of me at this point.
I love my kid, of course, and summers are magical in their own right, and all of that nonsense, but all I have left to say is… thank you to the Pokemon Go gods. You rich bastards really knew what you were doing there. You saved summer for moms everywhere.