Life Lessons, Parenting, politics, Social Media, Uncategorized

About That Letter. A Follow Up.

Well. Wow.

Hi.

I’m Vanessa. Welcome to my tiny space on the internet.

One week ago, I wrote an open letter to teachers that went viral. It had an organic reach of over 500,000 views in 4 days, which is giant for this little blog. (For reference, 2000 views per post is average for me.) Love What Matters also picked it up and was able to reach even more for me, to get my message to educators. And it’s still racking up the views as I type.

I’ve never had a post go “viral” from my blog. Many of my most popular writings were republished on online journal outlets, such as Scary Mommy, BLUNT Moms, etc., but never have I written anything that reached the masses from this space. I am one small whisper in the loud, vast chatter of the blogging world.

I was shocked that this specific post resonated with so many people. I didn’t feel like it was so wonderfully written or anything special. And this isn’t me just being humble. This is me saying that it wasn’t that unique but the reason why it touched so many is simple:

Teachers do not get the recognition and accolades and appreciation that they deserve. Ever. And they were just grateful to have someone say “thank you”.

I’ve been sitting with that all week.

It’s incredibly heartbreaking to me that we forget about the most important people in our world. The special humans that chose to make their life’s work about bettering our entire society: teachers, first responders, and social workers are the first that come to mind for me. Of course, our military, too. We forget to thank them and we forget to respect them. And none of these professions make nearly enough money to do what they do. They do it for the greater good. They do it for their passion.

And the comments I received, the messages, the emails, from teachers on that post were sobering. I need to share a few to drive this home for everyone. (I want to share all 200 of them but I chose the ones that hit me the hardest.):

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*I absolutely would protect my students if that’s what it came to because that’s my job when their parents aren’t there. I just hope my own family will forgive me and understand my love for my students didn’t outweigh my love for them if something would ever happen to me in the line of duty.

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*Thank you for this. I retired at the end of last year after 33 years. I chose to work in high poverty areas. These areas are also rife with abuses of all sorts. I can remember having to have a discussion with my fourth graders after a shooting. They were scared. As their teacher, I didn’t know what to say. They knew I would die defending them if I needed to. I loved my job, but I realized the stress was getting to my health and it was time for me to go. I visit 2 of my old schools and just hate that we have to buzz people in because we can’t be sure about anyone. It is a sad day and most teachers I know around where I live do not want to be armed. They want to do their jobs without fear. My heart breaks reading some of the ignorant comments from people who think the job is soooo easy. I asked a person once to come sit and watch what I do after they criticized teachers in general. Their reply was something I can’t put in my print.

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*Thank you for this. I had a shooting at my school more than 22 years ago – it was a parent to a staff member (no one was injured) but the students saw this and a shotgun slug shot was fired into an empty classroom. I have been a teacher for more than 30 years and every time these events happens, I look over my shoulder or out my classroom windows twice just to make sure I am aware of my surroundings. More and more teachers are leaving because people with feelings opposite of yours are pounding teachers efficacy into the ground. The general public hasn’t a clue what teachers actually do and due to confidentiality, we cannot share the most serious and detailed parts of our jobs. We need more people like you sharing these thoughts and feelings with the world and with those who make education policies. Thank you again for this, it will be shared with fellow teachers.

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*I love teaching and wouldn’t change anything about my career path. But as a teacher I feel society’s loathing of us every day. We are disrespected and hated. Society does not want their tax increases to go toward our salaries, school supplies, buildings, etc. Unfortunately, society only cares about teachers when they are shielding students from bullets.

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*I received this immediately after leaving a memorial service for one of the children killed in Parkland. I sat in my car, and cried thanking The Holy One that someone could put into words what lay so heavy on my heart. I immediately shared this with the teachers at my grandsons’ school. I pray that it will bring them comfort.

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Wow.

Just. Wow.

I am crying rereading these.

I cannot imagine feeling so under appreciated and ridiculed in a profession that very few are willing or able to do.

What this experience did for me was gave me even more appreciation to those that are molding our future generations. It made want to shower them with praise. It made me recoil on my annoyance of homework and projects and realize they are absolutely just doing their job. It gave me even more compassion for these special souls that get up everyday to meet our children and care for them almost as much as I do.

So, hey, everyone with a child in school: please, please say “thank you” to their teachers. Somehow. Words, letters, emails, coffee, gifts, chocolate, whatever. Just please, say thank you.

And thanks to all of you that read my letter and reacted with such love and positivity. I’m honored to have made it to so many of you.

Oh, and, lastly, to those that accused me of fear mongering or made this into a gun debate, let me be clear that my sole intention was to thank teachers for all they do. I don’t care which side of the gun debate fence they’re on, I don’t care which side of the political fence they’re on, I simply wanted to say thank you.

With or without the threat of gun violence, they are amazing humans that deserved to be recognized. Full stop.

politics, Social Media, Uncategorized

The Distraction Called ‘Election Year’

Is it over? Can I come out yet?

No. Apparently not. My social media feeds are telling me it’s not safe yet.

Hasn’t it all been awful?

Trump.
Clinton.
Racism.
Emails.
Misogyny.
Emails.
Bigotry.
Emails.
Pussy grabbing.
Emails.
Trump University fraud.
Emails.
4000+ law suits.
Emails.
Homophobia.
Emails.

I mean, no matter what side of the fence you’re on, it’s  been awful. Ok, maybe a little bit more on one side than the other, in my opinion. But I digress.

Here’s the thing: it’s over. The election is over. It was terrible and awful and unprecedented. But it’s over. And it’s all been such a huge distraction and many of us are losing sight.

We all picked a side. That’s what it’s about. Our government was designed that way. Republican or Democrat. Conservative or Liberal. We all are categorized and labeled to everyone’s comfort.  We are all then grossly generalized by these respective labels.

The one unique, not so subtle, elephant in the room (no pun intended) with this election is that one of the candidates was more anti-establishment appearing. Anti-policy, perhaps. He went after a silent majority, in large, people that have never voted in their entire lives, promising change, promising a different government, promising big things. How these things will be achieved has yet to be seen, let alone actually discussed or laid out in a plan, put he has promised. People have hung their hat on him since many trust a white business man over a female politician, apparently, and that’s their right to do so.

But, friends. This, this presidential campaigning, is all a distraction from real life and has brought out so much ugliness. This is somewhat like getting caught up in some soap opera that we’re desperately wanting to see unfold. We can’t wait to see the next episode.

All of us were privileged to the kind words of both candidates immediately following the election. Clinton urging Americans to embrace the change as best they can, especially with the eloquence of her concession speech, and Trump commending Clinton in his acceptance speech, thanking her for her years of service to this country, after absolutely ravaging her character for over a year. Paul Ryan now sitting next to Trump, promising the nation great thing, after Ryan vehemently spoke against Trump. And so on. Now everyone in government is suddenly copacetic, sitting in their offices figuring out what’s next on their agendas, collecting their much larger paycheck than mine; business as usual. Funny how that works.

Meanwhile, us, the average Americans are angry. All of us.

The Clinton supporters, in shock that this was the result when it was supposed to be a slam dunk, the fear of what will happen to so many individuals’ rights.The violent protests of some Clinton supporters, even though these might have been some of the same people that were fearful and angry that Trump said he wouldn’t concede if he lost the election. Trust me, I understand what they’re protesting. It isn’t the loss and the display of sore losers. I get it. But is it productive? I’m not so sure.

The Trump supporters bashing the grief of the Clinton supporters, telling them all to “Suck it up! Support democracy!”, although, most didn’t want to do so when the FBI cleared Clinton more than once in supposed email scandal. I’ve also continue to see such hateful memes and bullying on this side of the fence. Social media is one of the biggest culprits of creating divisiveness, and has been this entire election, continuing to pit sides.

Hypocrisy is abounding. Everyone is angry.We all want answers. We’re all turning on one another. Still.

They ignited a fire in us. We’re left to put out the flames.

My pleas to us:

Clinton supporters: take your time and grieve. Please do. Process your fears. I certainly am. But channel it. Channel the grief. Get involved in local government, sign petitions, make safe moves to protect rights. Be proactive. Be the change. I am assuming that I don’t know any of you personally that are violently protesting but please, please stop. Peaceful. Practice what we preach.

Trump supporters: Please, allow your Clinton supporting friends their time to process, be angry, and grieve. Please stop telling them to “move on” or insinuating that they’re a bunch of pussies. Be fair. Assuming that I’m resonating with those Trump supporters that claim themselves to not be racist, sexist, misogynistic, or homophobic, talk to your kids about other cultures, other religions, and not chanting “BUILD THAT WALL!” to their Latino classmates like I saw today on the news. They have fear mongered us over the last year and our kids were listening more than we realized, as evident by racist, violent acts throughout the country as I type.

On the topic of children, like I’ve heard many say over these past few days, morals and values are built at home and not taught by our government directly to our children. I totally agree. But within that moral compass that we’re cultivating within our children, government must be a topic of discussion. It’s imperative that our children understand why we’re so passionate about elections as adults, for them to grasp that these offices make very large decisions about our country, our freedom. We can’t ignore all of the commercials that we’ve seen over the last yet and assume they didn’t impact our children . We can’t fail to explain these to our kids. This election has already proven to have a large, grave impact on our children. Please explain why to them. Help them understand.

If this was your first election ever voting, wonderful, tell your children why. If one candidate spoke to you about issues that were important, resonated with you, talk about it. Take the time to do it. Please. We are privileged to live in a country with this democracy. And we’re a passionate species. It’s unjust if your children are just watching this unfold without having some pretty pointed conversations.

We are a nation divided and we must start to move forward and mend. It is our only choice and our only hope. I’m not asking everyone to “come together”. That’s a unicorn. This election year has made it clear that it’s just not possible at times. Friendships and family relationships have been fractured, some beyond repair. Let that be ok. Find your people and stick with them. But put one foot in front of the other overall. Don’t get distracted from life. We will all be ok. We have to be. Don’t create too much anxiety for yourself no matter who your candidate of choice was. It’s energy wasted. Keep living.

People keep telling me to “give Trump a chance”. I have conceded peacefully. It’s my only option.